Erring on the Side of Love
I had to make a phone call the other day to a place of business to inquire about something. The conversation proceeded smoothly, I was given the information I needed and the person on the other end of the phone was very helpful. All in all – a fantastic interaction! Until right at the end when I ended the phone call in a moment of minor distraction and said, “Okay, love you, bye.”
There might have been a minor record scratch in that moment as I couldn’t unsay these words that I typically say to people in my family. The person on the other end chuckled and said, “why thank you.” And I laughed and, only slightly mortified, ended the call after apologizing for the gaffe and offering my thanks. Whoops! It was just an autopilot moment and generally no harm was done (other than suffering mild embarrassment, which is thankfully not fatal).
I suppose I am grateful that my distraction led me to express love instead of disdain or upset. My automatic response was a decent one. Perhaps, had I been in a grumpier mood, my distracted response would have been a grunt, harrumph, or just a terse, “thanks.” But on this day, I lucked out and accidentally handed out a little more love into the world, with a side of good humor.
As I was thinking about my gaffe, I was reminded of another phone call, this one with a dear friend. At the time, she was in the throes of divorce proceedings which were not only wearing on her but getting a little ugly. At the end of our conversation, as we were wrapping up, I told her that I was sorry this season was so difficult and that I loved her. I meant it: I do love her and I treasure our friendship of over 30 years. She was silent for a bit and then she took a deep breath said, “I don’t think I knew how much I needed to hear someone say that until just now.” She went on to tell me that her soon-to-be-ex seemed to be intent on convincing her that she was unlovable and that no one in her life had said they loved her for a long time. My heart broke for her.
When I pray with the kids at church at VBS or mystery box, I often end with “and help me love other people like Jesus loves me.” I do that because I hope we can intentionally love others just as Jesus loves us. I know it’s not always easy to do and people can be tricky to love at times.
But sometimes it really is that easy and we shy away from it because we aren’t quite sure how it might be received or it seems like too much. But isn’t that exactly how Jesus loves us: over the top and in an extravagant way that might seem to be too much? And doesn’t God love us at all times, even when we do not love God or others? We overthink things or we hide behind fears or unknowns and then we allow moments to pass and people to feel unappreciated or unloved.
Let’s not overthink this, though. Who is one person in your life who you genuinely care for? Start with that person and tell them you appreciate them for who they are and not just what they do. I’ll go first:
Thank you for reading this column. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read the words that I have written. I appreciate you and your gift of time. And if you need to know it today, well then let me say it: I love you for who you are and who God is creating you to be. What a marvel you are!
Now, perhaps you will reserve your expressions of love for those who are more a part of your life than a customer service person, though I suspect that some of the folks in those jobs could use an “I love you” just as much as the people you see in your house or neighborhood. In any case, let us err on the side of love because that is what God calls us to do.
