Friendship
I had the loveliest dinner with a friend last night. It always takes a little bit of time to align our two schedules as we are generally busy people with families and other responsibilities to attend to. But in a stroke of luck, we were able to get together and catch up.
It was great to hear what’s happening in her life, to learn about her latest adventures in her job, marvel at the things her kids are up to, her plans, etc. And I got to share what is new and exciting in my life as well as what is old and boring.
We have been friends for a while now through many of the curves that Life has thrown each of us – life, death, illness, health, moves, job changes, etc. Even though we don’t get together as often as we might like, when we do, we are able to pick up not where we left off, but instead we pick up right where we are right now.
As I walked down the street to my car after dinner, I was reflecting on what makes this particular friendship so dear. I am lucky to have many wonderful and kind friends. Why did this one on this night strike me as extra lovely? I think it might have to do with the care we hold for one another and the space we allow each other for growth in our own directions. We are two different people, doing different things in and with our lives, with different marital and kiddo situations, and actually, the list of our differences might be very long if I took the time to list it all out!
I kept walking because parking downtown is never quite as convenient as I’d like it to be (meaning, I had to park far). And while I walked, I realized that the sweetness of the connection with this friend has something to do with how we see each other. She sees past the performative parts of people – the shinier outsides that we try to present one another – and goes right to the more meaningful parts. And because she does that, I do the same. We don’t pry, but we do ask deeper questions of one another and allow the other to honestly answer without laying on our own thoughts and judgments.
I got to my car, and I realized that part of what makes this friendship is that she loves her friends like I think God loves all of us. God’s schedule is perhaps more open than my friend’s, but it’s up to me to make that time. But when I do make the time to sit with God, I think we are just as delighted to see each other. And when I tell God what’s been going on, I think God listens intently. The questions God asks of me come not from a place of judgment or condemnation, but from genuine curiosity. When I offer to God the places that hurt in my life, I think God likely replies, “Oh yes, that would hurt. I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” And when we get up from the table at the end of our meal together, God hugs me tightly and our hearts are full from the time spent together.
I am grateful for my friend who met me for dinner and the gift of our friendship. And I am grateful to be so known by a God who loves each of us. What a gift to know that the Divine seeks our time and wants to know our hearts. What a gift to have the Creator of the Universe look past the shiny, performative parts of us and see right into the places in our lives that hold our truer selves with all the joys and hurts that live there – and loves us all the more for it! What a gift to be known, seen, and valued for who we are right now – and for who we are becoming.
What extravagant gifts we have in friends – both human and Divine.
