Old vs. New Selves
I remember reading that every seven to ten years, most of our cells have regenerated. Thankfully, not all at once, but over the course of that time, most of our cells die and we get a new cell in its place. There are lots of kinds of cells (red blood cells live pretty short lives compared to the ones that make up your bones) but in general, they all have a lifespan and are replaced.
That got me thinking about different versions of myself. Clearly, my physical cells have regenerated in the 50+ years of my life, but my mental, emotional, and spiritual lives have evolved over that time as well. Old ideas and beliefs have slowly faded to be replaced with a newer version that holds for a while before it, too, is changed. I am both the same person and a different person than I was at any other given age. The version of me that existed in my teens or twenties still might linger in my memory, but I’m not that person exactly.
I was talking to a friend the other day who mentioned after she moved back into the area, she’d run into an ex-spouse. They’ve been divorced for going on 20 years now and so, understandably, they are different people than they were before. I wondered if it was awkward to see him again. She replied, “A little, but since it’s been so long, we don’t really know each other anymore.” They shared some time, they parted ways, each of their lives moved forward, and they are now somewhat unknown to one another. The versions of each other that they once knew so well have given way to new updates several times over.
When you look at past versions of yourself, what do you see? Do you feel contempt and judgment for poor choices, or do you feel compassion for a version that didn’t know then what you do know now? I suspect each of us feels a little of both of those things in a way. Perhaps it’s “Ugh, I wish I’d done something different, but I had no idea!”
I wonder what God feels when looking at us and our previous selves. The prophet Isaiah comes to mind here in 43:19:
I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth; do you not perceive it?
God is doing a new thing in each of us all the time. I suspect God feels more compassion than judgment as it seems that God designed us to change, to evolve, to grow into newer (hopefully better) versions of ourselves. I think that is such a gift. What a blessing that we do not need to be precisely the same people we were at 13, 36, 58 or even 75.
But even more than all that, I suspect God expects us to change. When we get new information about something, why would we want to cling to old ways or old views or even old selves?
My prayer for all of us is to embrace the new version of ourselves that we are becoming. May we have compassion for the past versions who taught us much and who ushered us to where we are now. And whatever your age number is, may you remember that God is still doing a new thing in your life – may we perceive and embrace it. After all, even our cells do not stay the same.
