Independence or Community?
On the way to her art camp for the morning, Hazel asks if tomorrow is the Fourth of July. I tell her that since today is the third, tomorrow will be the fourth. She then asks me what is so special about it and why we have a holiday. (Don’t worry, she’s only just finished fourth grade and with it, California history; next year in fifth grade she’ll dive into US history.)
We chatted about what it meant nearly 250 years ago for people to sign a document that said they were not interested in being a British colony any longer. We also talked about the word independence and what that meant.
All of this got me to thinking about our general love of independence and individualism, and how we like to do things ourselves versus relying on others. And while there’s nothing wrong with doing things on our own, I think these ideas sort of set us up for disappointment. Plus, I’m not sure that we are made to do things entirely on our own.
I do think life is lived in community for a reason. When one of us is sick, suffers the loss of a loved one, or even is going through a tough time, it’s a gift when a friend shows up with a hug, a coffee or even a casserole for dinner. Or when a good thing happens like a new job, a baby arrives, or a personal milestone is reached, it is a joy to give or receive those high fives, handshakes, and pats on the back.
We do these all of things because we care for one another. Our heart aches when a friend or family member is having medical tests because of some unknown malady. And conversely our hearts soar when the results of those tests come back favorably. We are – for better and worse – bound to one another.
I ran across this wonderful quote by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in a newsletter that Kate Bowler put out this week that sums it up far more succinctly than I can.
“We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”
I suspect God gives us each other by design. God must have known that heartache and joy would be best experienced and supported in community. God likely knew that we would need each other because life would hand us such a spectrum of experiences.
Of course, the challenge for us (or at least for me) is deciding that telling people of our highs and lows is not a sign of weakness. I think sometimes we imagine that telling people that we are not entirely “fine” is weak. But I do think when we decide to tell people in our lives about what is really going on, it’s a sign of faith in the strength of community and an act of thanks to God for giving us people in our lives upon whom we can rely.
Hazel brings me out of my thoughts with her next question of what we will do tomorrow and can we go watch the fireworks. Yes, I assure her, we can probably manage to find some fireworks.
So, tomorrow, I will celebrate our country’s independence and all the freedoms we enjoy as a part of this republic. I will also remind myself that we are all interconnected and what a gift it is to live in community with others who love and care about me, and who I love and care about as well – in the ups and the downs of life. And I will offer my thanks for both.
